Sorry Not Sorry
Growing up in an east coast Italian family... they aren't exactly quiet.
Everyone has an opinion about everyone, everyone talks about who was just brought home, and men and women have absolutely no problem saying what they want and what they don't want.
They won't blink an eye if someone pisses them off to tell them, and they have no problem letting that person back in their life if they have a nice big hash out session. They get all their shit out on the table, and if both parties agree... they can move forward.
Then you move to the west coast. This coast has a lot more P's and Q's (what are P's and Q's anyway?)... and there is a lot more stuffing down of what hurts you, and acceptance of allowing those people in your space.
What the fuck is that?
I've talked about not faking the funk before... but this goes a little beyond that.
I recently read a post on Instagram that said this "Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them. Then you're an asshole."
Ok I looked up what P's and Q's mean:
-to watch your manners, or be careful how you behave. It comes from Please and Thank you.
OHHHHHHHHHHH..... so while you smile at me and you are using polite language and are acting like an asshole... I then need to respond with another fake ass response to your fake ass response... then we are living in a shit storm of fake ass shit.
Well here's a way to phrase all that in a nice way...
"Please keep your shit that I don't care for away from me and mine that I do care for. Thank you."
Is that better?
People are so worried about what something makes them look like... If I say this is that too much? If I explain myself in a nice way will they stop? If I don't bring it up will it go away?
Why are people so worried about the ones who are not worried about them?
So here it is... I'm very sorry that I'm not sorry for all the people and things that are not in my life anymore.
See Asshole... Me.
When you get really honest with yourself... why should you ever apologize or look back in regret or feel sorry that assholes you said were assholes or pussy's who were acting like pussy's are no longer around? (Yeah I said Pussy... the President said it why can't I.)
When does this word end.... sorry (that one... I will still use Pussy.)
Ok what does sorry mean?
Sorry:
-feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else's misfortune
-in a poor or pitiful state or condition
Gross!!! What was that second one?
Are you a poor and pitiful person in a state or condition... this is when you say "No I'm not."
What are we so distressed over and what is so misfortunate about not having things around, people around, or being in places we don't wanna be in?
Cause you're too concerned that you won't be liked... and you might have the disease to please?????????????
Was that too much? Is me saying this too much?
To make this a little more gentle (west coast)... I'll say it like this... When I wake in the morning, and the texts and calls are from people I know really love me and want me to have the best quality of life... When I do the things, eat the things, and go to the places I want to and feel happy inside... When I rest my head on my pillow and there is no one around that makes me feel bad... What is there to be sorry about?
A friend of mine the other day (after having a conversation on some things that were bothering us both), she brought up something a friend said to her "Fuck anyone who makes you question yourself."
There it is.
Are you sorry that the people who were lying to you, aggravating you, being dishonest to others, unaccountable, and sometimes down right disrespectful are no longer around.... No you're not.
I know I'm not.
Get over saying Sorry (unless you have fucked up and should apologize to someone... that's just called being an adult)... get used to saying "I don't care for that" and be ok with it.
Stop apologizing for creating the life you want to live.
And again...
Fuck anyone who makes you question who you are.
Please and Thank you.
All my love to you all,
LP