Faking the Funk

Did my last post seem messy... yup.
Isn't that the point?
Do you want to be perfect and or do you want to be real?
(Wellllll I already know that answer for some đ... the jig is up, I know)
Isn't life messy sometimes?
I'm at a point in life that if it ain't real I don't want it.
But I'm also at a point where (maybe because of studying people and performing for years) I can see a good act coming straight at me.
You know the kind... the "let's pretend nothing happened" or the "I'm gonna act like I care but I don't" or even the best the "how are you?" act.
I call this Faking the Funk.
You know it. You've even done it.
I worked in nightlife for years, and even was a resident party girl for many before then... You've shook the hands, and made the smiles, and laughed at the not funnies because you wanted a drink or that spot or to not seem rude and be liked by all.
Yeah... Fake.Â
(Side note:Â as a young girl in your 20's you should do this and milk those drinks for all you got because shit adds up... and so do years, and that's just fun for a while.)
Ok, besides night life days from my past... how is this showing up for me now?
When I was on the verge of losing my shit (haha) there are baby tests within the bigger test to ask me how much I've grown and also what are you gonna put and/or keep your attention on?
In other words... what shit are you gonna allow in?
Great question.
Here's a couple more:
-are you worried about being nice?
-are you still attached to what that person thinks about you?
-are you not sure of who and what you want in your life?
When your attention and focus is on that (those questions above)... its as if you're a car leaking gas and wondering why when you put your foot on the pedal it won't speed up.
When I was in the middle of budgeting my Fucks (time, money and energy) and something popped up (or rather someone) I had to make a quick decision... Am I going to waste my time on this?
A few weeks ago at a back yard party, I ran into someone I did not want to see... I said hi, acknowledge that I saw them, and kept it moving. No "how are you"... no "Oh my God look who it is"... they attempted to do this to me, but I excused myself.
WHY?
Because I don't care, you've shown you don't care... and if you don't care then why the hell am I gonna care (I'm only here able to match you) and I can go spend my only day off this week with a beer and friends that do.
Another time recently:
Walking to the Bus Stop (it makes me feel more old Hollywood when I write it that way, like Marilyn's film rather then the truth it is which was waiting for the 2 on Sunset Blvd... but that goes against what I'm talking about so fine....) walking to catch the bus (see not as glamorous) I had my back pack on and I was trekking up a damn hill and I see someone from my past. 6 years past. We don't talk anymore, and for good reason.
I'm not about being a pussy and not dealing with shit, but I've dealt with this shit, and this (person to me)Â is just that, shit. So what do I do as this person is trying to figure out if its me because they've never seen me with darker hair... I do the "I'm searching for something in my phone cause I'm not gonna engage at all with you" ice out.
WHY?
Because... again, you don't really care.Â
And I don't really care. (No seriously I don't)Â
Let's keep it moving!
The worst thing you can do for yourself and for someone else is to fake the funk.
Don't pretend or act like something is of interest to you when its flat out not.
We're all adults here... or at least I hope we are.
And this whole "everyone must like me" business is really winding down. (If I cared do you think I'd be writing the way I have been telling you to delete people and guard yourself like a exclusive club?)
If I'm not feeling it, and its always with good reason attached, you'll know. And its not to be rude, it's to treat both of us right.Â
If someone is not interested in your well being, doesn't truly care for you and has demonstrated that time after time... No need to hate on or get into it or even kill em with kindness....
Just KEEP IT MOVING.
Faking the funk is truly not a good use of your Fuck Bucks.Â
And in the course of one day, you don't get them back. (The Fucks)
It's up to you to choose who and/or what gets them... and Fake Funk.... it's not in your budget.
Well its not in MY budget...
Even writing on here or posting on social media... if you ain't feeling it who cares...
You don't have to make something look good to make someone else feel better.
(Even those who want to give you a compliment just to make you think they're nice... save it. Not to be mean, but it's cool, we'll both like each other even if we look like shit every other day. I promise.)
At the end of the day you have to ask yourself "what is going to make me feel better?" And be real real honest with yourself.Â
Is setting your own boundaries and making sure people know where they stand with you important?Â
Is being impeccable with your word and your time important to you?
Your life is too precious to waste it worrying about what others might think of you or even keeping people around who have demonstrated they don't care for you (they really don't care for themselves... but that's a whole other topic).
Spend your time wisely.
Did my best friend get a text about the two people I didn't care for, yeah (I'll admit it)... but it wasn't more then a sentence. And the goal is one day, I won't even send anyone that text! Cause ain't nobody got time for that.Â
Leave the funk where is belongs... to the masters...Â

Now that's funky đ
All my love to you all,
LP