Time to Get Away

When you build a comfy space, and then you become super bad ass at protecting it... you might sit back sometimes and go "Why am I so tired?"

Why? Cause you're a bad ass doing multiple jobs at the same time and you did that shit by working really fucking hard! That's WHY!

"Ok so I need a good nights sleep and I'll drink more water."

That's a great idea... but you just get one night of good sleep and then its back to the noise?

"I have so much to get done, and I still haven't finished that thing and I promised them I would go to their thing, and I said I would bring something, but I also need to start this....."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😩

WHAT?!

You can't take more then one night off from your life? (Which I'm sure you fit in a morning workout, some laundry, and a little catch up lunch date with....) Like really you can't take a day off?!

"But there is so much to get done!" (Enter mental hissy fit)

Oh so this is me and how my mind works.

Hello.🙋

We play a little game of DID YOU DO ENOUGH? 

Even if my brain is screaming and my body is aching, dying to sit down, and you finish the checklist... But was the checklist long enough? Isn't there the list you need to start for tomorrow? What about another chapter of your book? And so on.

When does it stop?

I'll tell you for me sadly when it does stop.

Wait!

I'll tell you the happy when it stops first.

First photo first. 

That's me way on top of a beautiful mountain in Joshua Tree.

How did I get up there?... thanks to a long time friend who decided to do her bachelorette party out in the middle of the desert. (I know some hippies 🤷‍♀️)

She forced me to go to a place I probably would never (I grew up in a desert why do I need to visit one), to look at things I had never before (why do you need to hike in the dirt, its dirt), to climb up onto a mountain top that I hadn't before (I'll get dirty and I don't know if I can get up. How will I get down?), and to be present at where I am at (wow its really pretty up here.)

Using her as an excuse, my three day desert get-a-way was exactly what I needed.

Open air, clear blue skies, the hot air I so love that feels like my childhood. Like a big warm hug. I feel really good inside.

Ok great. Thanks for the trip. Back to my life. I have work tomorrow. Need to get "caught up". Bye.

And like clockwork. Back in it.

Next photo. 

"Hey my Aunt is in town and you should come over for a drink and have some dinner with us."

Wait! That totally works out because I switched a girl who needed the night off. I did it to help her not me, but this totally works out. And even though that now gives me no days off at all coming up... Yeah why not.

(Let me state here that the night off and the invite to a friend's home is not a BAD thing... but the switch I made for myself that gave me the night off was.)

So second photo.

Good friends. No thought process. People who speak and think like me. Wine waiting for me when I come in the door (that's a good friend!). And take out ordered in while we watch the sunset.

That's beautiful. Who was complaining... I sure wasn't.

 I mean look at that!

Ok thanks for the great night. TIME TO GET BACK IN IT! Cause I had one night off so clearly I'm good to go.

🙄

I'm sure I could go on and on about what I did with the rest of the week.

I'm sure we all have a hell of a week.

And I know for damn sure, what needs to get done NEEDS to get DONE.

But when is enough enough.

Cut to two days ago.

My body was begging for a break.

But oh no... I NEED to get this done!!! Today! All of it. To receive the medal that no one is going to present to me at the end of the day. 

I'll spare the deets... but this is how Saturday night ended... 🤢

Yeah. Laying in bed, out of no where... passing out into it...  I felt the need to get up to throw up... WHAT! Yup... that has NEVER happened to me before. EVER! 

Someone said this once... I think it was Oprah or Brene Brown... or Oprah talking to Brene or Brene talking to Oprah... either way.... one of them said this... 

"The body is keeping score, and the body always wins."

I made myself sick 😷!!!! Like who does that? Apparently I DO!


After that fun bathroom fact that I just shared happened... I went back to bed... for 14 HOURS! 😴😴😴😵😳😴😴😴

I somehow in my daze of sleep had taken off of work, text both my parents separately to tell them I'll call them later, and drank a whole liter and a half of water. (Don't remember any of it)

Baby girl, you didn't just need more water and some sleep... you needed a COMA!

My bestie (who I am house sitting for, yeah cause I do that too 😝... no this is a gift trust me) let me know where her vitamins where, and her two precious dogs never bothered me. It was luck that I got to be in such a comfy space with none of my "to do" list in it... which apparently my body already knew. Which is probably why my body finally said "oh we can relax".

But... Why did it have to come to that?

Seriously.

Why did I have to make myself sick (no it wasn't something I ate, trust me, I ate only veggie meals on Saturday) or that dehydrated (I drank water all day and no I didn't have anything to drink alcohol wise) to get to a point to say "you can relax now."

?????????????????

Here's the good news to this all.

I'm listening. Hard. Because vomit and small comas are real! 

Here's some more good news... I'm still house sitting. And yeah there is still a lot to get done (back on the home front)... But I never not get it done. So it will get done.

My new goal, as I hope it could be for anyone else who reads this, is this... LISTEN TO THAT BODY OF YOURS!!!!

(Why am I sharing this? Because that's what I'm here to do! Either let you know when it's gone too far or hopefully help you to know when it shouldn't.)

My advice... Listen... just that, listen to your body.... when it doesn't want to do anymore, or be around someone, or says "nope".

Not the "I don't feel like it" or "Maybe tomorrow" voice. 

You know that voice isn't the same one I'm talking about here.

It's the voice when you were 22 that said "don't have that last shot!" or the voice that says "stay away from that person" or even the one that says "really? two donuts!"

The voice thats trying to really look out for you, and help you to be the best version of you.

My lesson....

Just take the day/night off.

Like the whole day and the whole night.

Hell even two days.

And have no reason or person other then YOU to do it for!!!!!! 

And you don't have to explain it for any other reason then YOU WANT TO!

You are never gonna be your best self or be present or do your best work while running on empty.

(As I write this, after dinner, I'm watching nothing new or life changing... just good ole fashioned "Cruel Intentions" followed by "Fear". Because Ryan Phillippe and Mark Wahlberg are hot. And Reese Witherspoon is a lucky bitch. You just are. Hats off. Good job.)

Oh yeah... last photo...

Me really enjoying the second day off after a coma in a beautiful backyard, and you bet your ass I got in that Hammock! (I slept 12 more hours 😲.... fuck it. I needed it!)

And then I did make some very yummy food for myself. Cause we all know that helps!!!!

Veggie Pizza anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love. Health. Happiness. Rest. Phillippe. Wahlberg.

Thats really what a true bad ass does!

No apologizes. No reason. 

Other then yourself. Duh 🙄 

Mantra... You are enough, and you are doing enough! 

Take time for you ♥️

(Or you might make yourself and that's not the funnest 🤢😷🙄)

All my love to you all, 

LP