Dealing with Disappointment
Here's the deal. I was not a girl who was handed life on a silver platter, or had a silver spoon at birth....
I was told at a very young age... "if you want it, you gotta work for it."
Work hard and then you can get whatever you want? I can do that. 🙋 No prob.
So, I became the hardest little worker you ever did see.
Help around the house and I'll get money for chores, done. Good grades to get better in school, got em. Be a good kid and I can rent the movie I want, easy street. Make sure I said hi to Nana and I get more candy, where is the chick?!
I don't mean to brag.... but this little worker bee 🐝 got everything she wanted because she hustled her little tuss off.👍🏼
I trained myself to be the bestest hardest worker there is.
I treated people nicely and with respect. And I never asked for the help, I only worked harder if I needed to.
Sooooooooo..... what happens when you work hard, and that doesn't bring the thing you wanted?
Oh yeah... here's the best part. (I learned this later... no one likes to warn you about this fun fact of life)
Not everything can be worked hard for.
I'm sorry? But you told me if I work hard, then I get it. And I worked hard, so whats the deal.
The deal is... there's a word. A word I heard of, but didn't know had anything to do with me.
Enter in the bitch of a word... DISAPPOINTMENT.
Yeah, you, you're a sneaky little bitch.
What am I gonna do with you?! Why are you here! And why are you making me feel things I don't want to?! Are you even on the list? I didn't invite you! How the fuck did you get in? Where's my wine?! 😡
Its beyond shocking to me that I didn't think that that word, Disappointment, had any place in my life.
Yet, of course it does. Why would I be so naive to think that I was the exception to that rule. (Cause I'm different??? 🤔 Naw that doesn't work. Cause that chick flick told me I was? 🙄 Don't even get me start on them... hey side note, who the hell wrote Bridget Jone's? Yeah you suck.)
I'm a good student. I'm gonna look you up.
I'll find out with my brain why my heart doesn't like you. And then you can suck it!
the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!
I did this? You didn't do this? I did this?
Cause of my stupid hopes, and stupid expectations.
Wasn't there a sign or something that said Dream a Dream or something like that? I know there's a meme now that says it.
And why did you have to put the word expectation in there?! Webster come on!
So this is about me? Really 😥
After denying (yeah that ramble above is me doing that) the certain realities of life (that nothing is certain, which is always an awesome lesson to learn 👎🏼) it brought me to this conclusion.
Denial is the cock block of reality.
😒 Fine. (I mean to be honest, no one likes the word disappointment, but denial... that's an easy one to want no part in.)
Now, as I am working hard for things that I do want, a smart business man or woman knows when to cut their losses and move on (Who Moved My Cheese anyone? Never heard of it? Read it.)
The hope, or expectation that leads to disappointment, is the fantasy you had for the outcome. However the reality of the outcome, is just that.... REAL.
If someone pulled a Norman Bates on you, talked and dressed up like their dead mother, while you watched all this happen... You'd want to throw them in the Looney Bin! Right, yeah.
But while we sit at home, and think about the "what if's" or the "how come's" (or at a bar with a friend over beer... you know you can do this anywhere) while not looking at the "this is how it happened", we might as well admit ourselves with Mr. Bates (and Mrs) too.
Can you have a bummed out reaction to what you didn't receive... yeah. Completely normal.
Should you look at the dead body and think there is life in it? No. Completely committed. Aka locked up in the padded room.
How does the worker bee handle it when life kicks her in the tussy?
I say "that's how it was supposed to happen."
Oh did you want a bigger answer?
Well there isn't one.
If it was going to happen a different way, it would have.
Ya see, there are moments, and there are times, when you work so hard and put so much energy into something.... and it works out.
THAT IS AMAZING.
The feelings that flow from that moment, the happiness that over comes you. Its beautiful.
When those things you thought, or saw, or hoped, or dreamed for end up a dead road, with no place for you.... That sucks. But also, it's ok.
Disappointment is a bitch (have I said that yet?) that also hands you the horrible gut reaction that says "time to move onto the next."
So that's what you do.
Or at least that's what I do.
Or YOU could lay next to the dead body and wonder what that smell in the air is? 🤢 Your choice. (I hope you choose the silver lining, and Lee Ann Womack hopes you dance 😝😝😝 had to sorry).
All my love to you all, LP
P.s. Disappointment is a total bitch for the record. (I said that right? 😉)